A Burglary
by stevesmopeds
Summary: A new worry for the long-suffering parents of the Brockman family (Set around series 2 so, Karen is 6, Ben 8 and Jake 12). [Rated T just in case]
1. Half Past Five

**1\. Half Past Five**

Sue woke up abruptly from her sleep as a massive _**smash**_ came from downstairs. She looked over at her bedside clock – it read 05:27. She tapped her husband to alert him to the noise which, somehow, he'd managed to sleep through.

"Sue," Pete mumbled, as he too glanced at a clock, "it's five thirty!"

"Yes, I know that," Sue replied sarcastically, "there was a noise from downstairs. Could you go and see what it is please?"

Pete sighed and put his dressing gown on as he left the room. He crept down the stairs, not wanting to ruin the element of surprise for any potential intruders. He could hear hurried footsteps in the kitchen as he grabbed an umbrella from the under stairs cupboard to use as an impromptu weapon. He entered the kitchen to find a broken window near the computer.

"Ben," Pete whispered, suspicious of his 8 year old son, "did you break something?"

No reply came, so Pete carried on walking silently across the kitchen and through the double doors into the living room. He heard footsteps behind him and turned around. Before he had time to react, he was punched in the nose by a gloved hand. He collapsed to the floor as his vision blacked out.


	2. Discovery

**2\. Discovery **

_2 hours later_

Sue had drifted back off to sleep when Pete went to investigate the noise and stirred again when Karen walked into the room and announced she was hungry. Sue got up and took her daughter downstairs, assuming her husband would be down already – probably with Ben. Sue heard a groaning from the living room and walked in to find her husband half-conscious with a broken, bloody nose. Karen and Ben, who had also made his way downstairs for food, followed their mother in and screamed at the sight before them.

"What the…" muttered Sue, as she assessed the situation

"Hi darling," Pete replied, "turns out there was a noise down here!" he added, trying to inject some humour into the situation.

"Guess so!" Sue smiled weakly, "Anyway, what happened to you?"

"I'm not sure really," Pete responded, "one minute I'm looking around, then I'm smacked in the face by a gloved hand – some sort of intruder I believe"

"Maybe it was a beaver!" Ben suggested, unhelpfully, "Or a cat, or a koala, or a dodo!"

"Dodos are extinct, stupid," Karen retorted "and also beavers and koalas don't live in London except in the zoo" she finished

"Well maybe one escaped from the zoo and got into the house!" Ben replied with a smile.

"But how do animals escape from zoos without some human being silly and leaving the cages open?" Karen said, raising her voice.

"They might have done if…." Ben started.

"SHUT UP BENNY!" Karen yelled.

Ben then hit his sister, who screamed and hit him back harder. The two of them then engaged in a fight, with screams and punches being thrown around at random. At one point, Karen shoved Ben so hard that he stumbled onto the TV stand, knocking it off and smashing the screen.

Upstairs, the commotion had woken Jake up. The twelve-year-old wandered downstairs and chose to ignore the end of the fight going on in the living room (Sue was now shouting at the kids for breaking the TV) and entered the kitchen to get a glass of milk. He noticed the smashed window and the fact that the CD player, computer, radio and his iPod were missing.

"Um, ok" he said to himself, before shouting to the next room – "You might want to come in here, people!"

"What is it Jake?" Sue asked, somewhat annoyed "we were… oh… Pete!" she continued as she noticed the missing items. Her husband walked through, having grabbed a tissue to clean his face. He assessed the situation in the kitchen and decided it was time to call the police. He rang 999 and spoke to the operator, Jake and Sue listened in to the conversation, whilst Ben and Karen had resumed their fight after Ben suggested that next door's dog may have ransacked the kitchen looking for food.

"They'll be here as soon as possible" Pete said, as he hung up. He then noticed Jake's worried expression as his son looked at his face "Just a broken nose, I went downstairs earlier to investigate a noise and the intruder got me. Before you ask, I was knocked out so couldn't chase him. I'm ok though Jakester" he explained.

"What are you doing now?" Sue said, exasperated, as she noticed her two youngest still fighting

"Ben thought that the doggy from the next house beat daddy up and stole the computer" Karen explained, "and I told him he was stupid again" she finished, as she stamped on her brother's ankle. Ben screamed in pain and pulled Karen's hair.

"BOTH OF YOU STOP IT" Pete yelled "KAREN GO WITH MUMMY AND BEN COME HERE!"

Surprisingly, they obeyed him and slowly calmed down. Upon stating that they were hungry after the battle, they were given a bowl of Shreddies each and were told to sit at opposite ends of the table, with threats of being sent to their rooms if one or both started the fight again. A few minutes later, a police car pulled up outside. Two officers came out and walked to the front door. One of them knocked hard on the door whilst announcing their presence.

"If we don't answer the door, they'll have to get in with that really cool big ramming pole" Ben said, excitedly "I want to see them use it. Let's hide!"

Sue gave him a look as if to say '_don't even think about it' _as she opened the door and welcomed the officers in.


	3. Police

**3\. Police**

"Hello, I'm PC Armstrong," the male officer said, "and this is PC Hythe" he continued, nodding at his colleague. Pete and Sue smiled and introduced themselves and the children, before taking the officers into the kitchen and making them a cup of coffee. Armstrong noticed the smashed window as he sat, but made nothing else of it just yet.

"So," Hythe began as she sipped her coffee, "why don't you take us through what happened? We were told a burglary, correct? Armstrong, take notes."

"Yes," Pete replied, "Sue woke up just before half past five this morning as she believed there to be some noise downstairs. She then woke me up and I went downstairs to investigate, thinking it was probably my youngest son making breakfast or something."

"Ah yes," Hythe interrupted, "Ben Brockman – the boy who called us here last year because you sent him to his room an hour before bedtime?" She laughed slightly as Ben smirked at her and Armstrong.

"Yes – that was fun!" Pete said sarcastically, before getting back to his story, "Anyway, I went into the kitchen and noticed the smashed window but no sign of anyone else. As I turned to the living room, there were some footsteps behind me, so I turned around but got punched in the face and blacked out for two hours. The next thing I remember is Sue and the kids finding me about forty minutes ago. After my explanation to them and having to break up Ben and Karen's little brother-sister fight – which resulted in the television being smashed in the living room – we were called in here by Jake, who'd discovered the stolen items after that, we dialled 999."

"Okay," Hythe replied, "if that's all you know then thanks for your statement. We'll have to verify with Jake in a minute about the kitchen before he called you through."

"Your nose doesn't look too great, Mr Brockman," Armstrong noted.

"I believe it may have been broken by the intruder," Pete said

"Well," Armstrong began, "Hythe here has exceptional first aid training, would you be ok if she took a look?" he finished. Pete nodded, so Armstrong motioned for Hythe to go and fetch the first aid kit from the car. Hythe returned and discovered that Pete's nose was broken but not so badly that it'd require hospital treatment. She applied some supporting strip bandages to his nose and gave him a few painkillers. She turned to Jake, who verified his father's account as true – he'd gone to make a drink and discovered that they were missing a computer, CD player, radio and iPod.

"Well, that's just about everything," Armstrong started as he and Hythe stood up, "we'll send some detectives round later to go round the place, otherwise thank-you and we'll be in touch with any developments"

"Thanks again" Sue said as she showed the officers out of the door. Armstrong and Hythe shook hands with Pete and Sue and walked back to their car.

"What happens now?" Ben asked, "Also, can I set a trap in the garden in case the burglar comes back with a gun?"

"Firstly, DO NOT dig any traps, Ben," Pete said, sternly, "and also the detectives will come and see if they can find any clues, then I suppose there will be a process where they try to find the burglar. If he is found then they might take him to court and he could go to jail" he explained.

"How do you know the burglar was a man, it could have been a woman. Don't be sexist, daddy" Karen chimed in.

"Well…." Pete faltered, unable to answer the question, "I don't know. Anyway, before you ask, yes you do have to go to school tomorrow!" he laughed, but was already dreading the fight that he knew would he and Sue would be dealing with the next morning.


	4. Excuses

**4\. Excuses**

Despite Hythe telling him that his nose didn't require hospital treatment, Pete decided it best to go to the hospital anyway just as a precaution. He returned just before lunchtime, saying he'd spent over three hours waiting to be told that Hythe had done enough and he hadn't needed to go in.

"Better be safe than sorry, though?" Sue said, trying to reassure him once he'd implied he'd wasted the morning. "Anyway, new developments here," she said, changing the subject, "Ben and Karen have decided to turn detective to see if they can work out who – or what – the burglar was"

"But the detectives. The REAL detectives are coming tomorrow aren't they" Pete asked, "and I can't stay here tomorrow, there's a big staff meeting about the child who tried to eat the science department's snake"

"I know they're coming, just let the kids have their fun darling. Anyway, I can't stay either," Sue replied, "I have an interview at the new office. You know, the one that was set up in the wake of Tyson buggering off the other week"

"We'll stay!" volunteered Karen and Ben, looking up from the start of their 'investigation' of the broken window, "we've got a lot to do here."

"No thanks darlings, you have school." Sue said, with a smile, "Daddy and I will have to talk it over later on."

Ben and Karen shrugged and got back to their investigations, which involved going outside and searching for footprints in the mud. However, it hadn't rained for several days meaning that the ground was hard and there were no footprints available. Karen and Ben trudged back in to the house and announced that they would be postponing their investigation for a while and were going to watch Scooby Doo on TV to get some pointers on what to do when there's a mystery about.

About an hour later, when making a cup of tea for her and Pete, Sue suddenly remembered something about the earlier conversation concerning the detectives' visit. "Um… Pete, how come you can't stay home tomorrow for the detectives?"

"Meeting." he replied quickly

"Ah yes, but if I remember correctly, it's to do with the science department's problem isn't it? So why are you – as a _history _teacher – involved?" she asked, "It's because you don't want to deal with the kids when they inevitably refuse to go to school, hmm?" she finished

Pete knew he'd been rumbled, so tried to change the subject, "Biscuit with your tea?" he asked "Or a piece of cake?" he stammered

Sue laughed briefly, "Nice try darling! You'll stay put tomorrow, and I'll go for the interview." she said, "Oh, by the way I'll have a Garibaldi thanks" she added as she reached into the biscuit tin. After the debate, the rest of the day went rather smoothly (at least for this family) and there were no further fall outs between anyone.


	5. Mutiny

**5\. Mutiny**

_Monday, 8.20am_

It was the usual morning chaos in the Brockman household. Sue had lost the car keys for what felt like the thousandth time, Karen was wandering around in her pyjamas refusing to go to school until the burglar had been caught and put in prison, as she'd put it, "for at least fifty years". Elsewhere, Ben was outside with a spade and a large piece of green felt as camouflage for the hole he was digging, Jake was sitting at the table eating toast and texting whilst using his father's old Walkman as a surrogate for his stolen iPod and Pete had only just arrived in the room as a result of having overslept because Ben mixed ground-up sleeping pills into a cup of tea he'd made the previous evening, in the latest in a long line of 'just to see what happens' experiments.

"Ah, Pete," Sue said, her voice drooling with sarcasm as her husband entered the chaos, "nice of you to join us! It's 8.20 and we're supposed to leave in five minutes". Pete just yawned and gave his wife a small, dopey smile

"Hey mum," Ben said as he came in from the garden, his uniform caked in dirt, "can I take some of the broken window to school for show and tell?"

"Absolutely not!" Sue replied, "Firstly, show and tell is still suspended after the roadkill incident last month" – she shuddered at the memory of getting a call from Ben's teacher about how a mangled, squashed squirrel is **not** an acceptable show and tell item – "and secondly, you're filthy! Go and get changed and then we WILL be going." Ben huffed and walked upstairs, as Sue turned her attention to her daughter, "Karen, go and get your uniform on, you're going to school too." she said sternly.

"No." Karen stated, "Daddy's staying home today and so am I"

"He's only staying because the detectives are coming" Sue countered

"Well, he'll be here to look after me won't he?" Karen replied cheekily

Sue sighed and looked towards Pete for help. Unfortunately he'd fallen asleep again, apparently still under some influence from the sleeping pills. She tapped her husband hard on the shoulder, "Darling, can you please ask Karen to get a move on? I'll make you some strong coffee to keep you alert!" she said.

"Karen, go and get changed, your mother's right" he stated

"N-O spells no" Karen retorted, "I'm not going today."

Ben then returned, having had a change of clothes. Unfortunately for Pete and Sue, he'd not changed into clean uniform, but into his Arsenal shirt and tracksuit trousers. "If Karen's not going to school, then neither am I" he announced. Pete and Sue sighed simultaneously – they should be in the car by now and this stand-off over going or not going to school didn't look like it was going to end any time soon, especially since Jake had also rather petulantly declared that he too wouldn't be going to school since he didn't want to be the only Brockman child who was.

"Right then, it's now 8.30 and all of our kids are refusing to go to school. Perfect." Sue said, summing up their predicament, "It's not as if I have a big interview at ten." she added sarcastically

"Just to change the subject for a moment," Pete said, "Ben, what exactly was in that cup of tea last night?" Ben looked away from his father and denied all knowledge of foul play as he mumbled something along the lines of it being Karen's idea in an attempt to shift the blame. Pete shook his head in exasperation, deciding to deal with that particular problem later on. "Anyway, I thought you wanted to go to school?" he asked.

"Only because I wanted to take some broken window for show and tell but after mum said no I didn't want to go if Karen wasn't going" Ben replied

Half an hour later, after some loud arguments, all the family were still in the kitchen – with the exception of Karen, who had stormed off to her bedroom mid-argument. Just as Pete was about to say something else to try and end the stand-off, there was a knock at the door. The detectives had arrived. Pete and Sue then gave up on the idea of their kids going to school, so sent them to their rooms for the duration of the detectives' visit in an attempt to avoid truancy accusations. As she left the house, Sue greeted the detectives and explained that Pete would help them with their inquiry as she had to run to her interview.

When Sue got into the car she made a quick call to the kids' schools, explaining that the Brockman children wouldn't be in school due to illness. She felt a little bad lying to the secretaries but it was a more believable, less complex explanation than the real one. As she pulled away from the pavement she allowed herself to smile at the realisation that it was Pete, and not her, having to deal with the children for once.


End file.
